Death Battle Predictions: Senator Armstrong vs Funny Valentine

 

"Patriotism is your conviction that this country is superior to all others because you were born in it." ― George Bernard Shaw

Senator Steven Armstrong, the prideful Texan politician and soon-to-be president of the United States from Metal Gear.

President Funny Valentine, the American-born hero of the United States and the man behind the Steel Ball Run from JoJo's Bizarre Adventure.

America is regarded as the eye of the world, and thus one of the greatest nations… by the people within it. However, while it might seem egotistical, the people of the land of the free take their love of it to the next step, in order to become the greatest superpower. There are few that match the true patriotic beliefs of the 'States, but those that wish to bring ultimate power become the most recognizable.. for better or for worse. In the regards of politics, two dominant leaders stand out upon the backdrop of parties; These two being the 23rd President Funny Valentine and Senator Steven Armstrong. Between these two iconic American “heroes”, who would win in a political debate? How about who would win an all-out fight of beliefs? Or... most importantly, who would in an actual fight? Let's find out who would win in a DEATH BATTLE!

Background

Senator Armstrong

"You should try fighting in something you believe in, Jack."

Born and raised in the sweet Texan sun, Steven Armstrong had a life set up for the amazing luxuries of sportsmanship in both his hometown and later down the line his life in South Carolina. However, it had later grown later in life that the man held more than just a willingness to display his strength in sports; Armstrong had grown a belief that he had the right to work for his country and willingly pushed himself to join the JROTC programs of his high school, showing him how much he had the motivation to serve and protect. After graduation, he now began to work as a quarterback on his school's football team before following in his past ideals, now joining the United States Navy with the idea that he would be able to protect and serve his country with respect and power. However, despite being exhilarated by his means of duty, Armstrong never truly could show his true power as a soldier. Thusly, he moved back to his town in Colorado in order to run as the senator, of which he would cut the budget of the state in half and allow the World Marshall to take full control over the police force.

With Armstrong joining sides with this company which created child soldiers and turned willing humans into mindless cyborgs, he saw the best action to do was to recruit others into his means of an end. As a result, he brought three cyborg warriors together, known as the Winds of Destruction, all united by a common purpose of seeing humanity as meant for nothing but war and death. Each named upon a type of wind, another warrior known as Jetstream Sam had wished to join this team for the purpose of giving him protection in exchange for money and a way to fight without breaking the law. Having brought to fight Armstrong for an interview, he and Sam would fight on top of the rooftops of Desperado LLC, leading in a massive brawl which lead Sam into cutting off Armstrong's arm despite the power of his nanomachines. However, Armstrong would use the wound in question to impale Sam by hardening it, acting as a spike that impaled Sam's shoulder. Despite failing in beating Armstrong, Sam was nonetheless hired and given the codename Minuano.

Later down the road, another swordsman known as Raiden would appear, of which had a deep background with the Patriots that Armstrong himself had opposed the falling of. After being defeated by Minuano and coming back with a new cyborg body, he would take down both Mistral and Monsoon in the same day, leading Armstrong to become deeply aware of his presence in the world. However, with enough pride he was compassionate enough to believe that Sundowner and Minuano could hold off Jack long enough to where he would be able to take down President Hamilton located in Pakistan, and assume control. However, despite the power of the two, the warmonger Sundowner and the mercenary Minuano were both taken down, leading Raiden to attempt to discover and take down Armstrong. Confronted at Pakistan by the swordsman, Armstrong exchanged both his ideals and motivations for both trying to change the world and killing who he did; This was all a means to reset the American economy by bringing upon war, ultimately using the conflict to end war. While Raiden held a similar ideal, he wished to end war in general, leading Armstrong to fight him so that he wouldn't tell this to news sources and ruin his reputation.

After unleashing the EXCELSUS upon Raiden, who would defeat it, he physically encounters Raiden before vigorously beating upon the swordsman and destroying his weapons with his bare hands. Explaining his backstory and what he stands for, Raiden is stunned and sees Armstrong as nothing short but criminally insane, while Armstrong knows what he's doing is ultimately right in either of their eyes. As a result, he causes a gigantic explosion which destroys Metal Gear EXCELSUS' remains, leaving Raiden on the ground and near-death. However, through Minuano's partner, Bladewolf, Raiden is able to achieve the deceased swordsman's weapon, seeing the truth about his actions. However, undeterred to defeat him, Armstrong still challenges Raiden with the weapon that once took him down. As a result, Armstrong takes extensive damage to his body despite the usage of nanomachines, of which eventually leads to Raiden impaling the senator against the legendary blade and tearing out his heart. However, despite the injuries, Armstrong holds on and explains to Raiden what he sees in him; They were nothing short but related in ideals. Both were kindred spirits who wanted to do nothing but end war in the name of their world, for good or worse. This left Raiden standing over the corpse of Armstrong after ripping out his heart, seeing that at the end of the road they held the same thoughts on how they could fix how fucked up this system of life was.

Funny Valentine

"My heart and actions are utterly unclouded! They are all those of 'justice'."

Born in the low-ends of America, Funny had always felt alone, especially when he had eventually fallen out of contact with his father. In the past, the man had been busy with wartime, but this time, he had not returned for months. Eventually, one of the captains of his father's units, Captain Valentine, had told Funny what had happened to his father. The man was a true patriot who was captured as a P.O.W, but despite the attempts to extract information, his father never gave up with the thought of his pride, his family, and most important of all, his nation. In his last moments before his suicide, his father left one last thing on himself, being the napkin he had stuffed behind his eye as an honorary object to whoever would find it. Luckily, this had gone to his son, which this movement now gave Valentine one idea of the world. Whoever took the napkin first would be in control of the world. With this ideology, Valentine drove himself into working in the military for the honor of his father and, most importantly, his powerful country. As time progressed, Valentine was sent on excavation on the desert to a land known as the Devil's Palm, a land unknown as to how it got its name by anything but a fictional tale. With Valentine taking his men to this desert, it had been completely expected that something could go wrong, which due to the abundantly horrible conditions of the desert it had. His unit all died from exhaustion or heat stroke, and the unit seemingly dissipated- minus Funny. The soldier pushed on, and as he took in one last breath, he had soon been infected with power and strength; The heart of a corpse had merged itself with Funny, causing him to climb his way out of the wreckage of his unit, and return. However, with this new part of Funny, two things had came out of it. Not only had the soldier both been able to survive the wreckage, but he had too gained a new physical ability known only as Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap, a humanoid short-range Stand capable of joining neighboring dimensions together to summon objects from an alternate reality. However, more importantly, Valentine saw into this power and believed there to be an entire corpse of objects that could bring power... power that could be used to strengthen not just himself, but all of those in the nation as a superpower. Thus, Valentine had now wanted to bring the nation together to discretely find the parts of this corpse with only his crew being aware of the power it could bring, which only held one solution. Valentine would need to have a stand in the social hierarchy that allowed him to control people, and one he could access. With his background, there was only one role Funny could take that would be able to empower him to such a degree; becoming the President of the United States.

However, by creating the Steel Bal Run, and hiring various workers to watch over and make sure the Corpse Parts return to him, Valentine had still held his suspicions. As he and his men moved across the States, they kept running into both Johnny Joestar, Gyro Zeppeli, or Diego Brando. All three of them had been tied to the beginning of the race, especially with Diego betraying him afterwards with one of the other racers. As a result, the President decided it would be best for him to step in, taking the life of Axl RO and plans on taking the lives of both the traitor that took the Saint's heart and Diego Brando himself. However, as he tries to force himself upon his wife, it is revealed that she is actually the traitor, being none other than Lucy Steel. With this, Valentine attempts to take her life, which would then reveal that Lucy is the bearer of both the heart and head, leading him to use her as a means of leverage against those coming at him. As Lucy Steel's Stand, Ticket to Ride, begins to develop, Valentine takes on Diego and Hot Pants who have been in hot pursuit, as well as Johnny and Gyro close behind. For this reason, Valentine is forced to fight the two, which through both sheer luck and his ability he's able to flee away while killing Diego below the train tracks he'd been located on. However, when Valentine returns, he views the strange phenomenon of an unknown power that's taken the life of Diego's partner, leading him to discover a golden gap in the world; This was Love Train, the true power of the Corpse Parts unlocked by Lucy Steel's Ticket to Ride. Due to Valentine's affinity with both the Corpse Parts and D4C, he adopts the ability and uses it to take on Johnny Joestar and Gyro Zeppeli, the two who'd been on his tail as he fought Diego and Hot Pants. However, with this ability, Valentine effortlessly dominates the two despite their creative means of avoiding his power.

Later taking on Gyro as the two split together, Valentine is able to manifest his power and take them head-on. However, despite Valentine's means to trick and maneuver around Gojo, he'd launch a Steel Ball at the golden wall, nearly bypassing it but severely aging over the president as he awakens his newfound Stand. Despite this power, though, Valentine is able to defeat Gyro when his second Steel Ball fails, chipping against Valentine and causing it to lose the Golden Rotation. With Gyro gone, Valentine intends on dealing with Johnny who's filled with grief, thus mindlessly attacking him which are effortlessly repelled by D4C's adopted power. However, Johnny understands exactly what he needs to, which allows him to kickstart his horse and activate the Golden Rotation, unlocking his final act and firing one last bullet at Valentine. With the power of an infinite spin, Valentine is hit across all dimensions as he tries to flee away. Seeing that he's going to die, Valentine immediately attempts to recruit an alternate universe Diego Brando by giving him information about the world and the power of the Corpse and Johnny, which Diego follows accordingly. Being unable to withstand the spin, he's forced to return, but nonetheless tries to negotiate with the gunslinger about how he could fix what he did wrong. Despite this, though, Johnny passes over Valentine his gun. Seeing how he might have been genuine, Johnny tells the president to pick up his revolver, despite the fact that Valentine was already wielding the weapon and intended on shooting Johnny. As a result, Valentine tries to charge forward and gut Johnny, which he's able to land one blow but not in quick enough time to prevent Johnny landing one well-aimed shot in his head, instantly killing him alongside the Infinite Spin, causing his body to disappear from existnece forever, and leaving the scars of his friend and allies on Johnny's back forever.

Skill and Experience

Senator Armstrong

With extensive time in the Navy and military training, Armstrong is nothing short than a patriotic soldier with tons of experience. Having taken a few tours in his time and being a pro football player, both of which gave him extensive means of knowing how to fight, he further advanced his body with nanomachines which he's mastered the usage of with combat techniques. Even with the Metal Gear EXCELSUS, a Metal Gear he handled on his own with controllers, he was able to fight with Raiden in combat with it as well as later fight Raiden on his own accord with just his fisticuffs. He's a force that shouldn't be reckoned with, especially not with such a strong quarterback player.

Funny Valentine

Having taken time in the military, Funny Valentine is nothing short but a competent fighter. Not only is he cunning and manipulative, earning a 91% approval rating and twisting anyone he wants under his finger both including Diego Brando and Johnny Joestar, those who wanted to kill him on sight, but he values nothing but the best for his country. He holds extensive knowledge about his Stand's ability and how it works, as well as both how all of his subordinates work and being able to adapt accordingly. Not only this, but Valentine is also a cunning combatant, being able to keep up with those like Johnny's Tusk Act 4 and Diego Brando with sheer skill and Stand usage despite how much stronger or faster they were over him. Ultimately, Valentine is an immensely skilled Stand user that knows his ways in and out of sticky situations, especially when his luck befalls on him.

Equipment

Senator Armstrong

Cigars

Armstrong is a heavy smoker, and thus he almost always carry a cigar on himself. While he usually disposes it, it could also serve as a great distraction by throwing it in someone's eye... just like Afro Samurai!

Metal Gear EXCELSUS

A Metal Gear that appears in Senator Armstrong’s boss fight, which he uses to fight Raiden. While not notable in regards to its immense power, Armstrong still has more than enough skill to use it to keep up with a skilled swordfighter and martial artist like Raiden. It has, for example, arm-blades that can extend forward to strike, which can move both vertically and sideways for tricky patterns to avoid. It can also use its legs to strike, it can summon other Metal Gears, it can use mounted railguns, and it’s defensive to such a point that no matter the damage it takes, the driver will be completely safe.

Funny Valentine

Handgun

Valentine has access to a handgun on-hand at all times, which he’s shown impressive skill in, being able to shoot at and keep up with Johnny Joestar who uses literal fingers guns in combat via Spin, although he does lose in the end because he’s not as good. Ultimately, the handgun Valentine wields is the same one responsible for allowing Johnny to kill him. Bozo.

American Flag

Valentine typically wields an American flag. While he doesn’t use this all the time, he used it originally against Diego Brando as a way to deceive him and hide away due to his Stand ability. He doesn’t actively need to use the flag since realistically anything he can enter is a suitable means of travel, and he can even use it on other people, but it's useful to carry around if needs be.

The Corpse Parts

After Valentine merged with the Corpse Heart, he made it his goal to find the rest of the Saint’s Corpse (or also known as the Corpse Parts, for each individual part). The Saint’s Corpse is the deceased body of Jesus Christ, who can interact with people, also allowing them to resist corruption, and warps space itself to unite with other limbs. The Corpse Parts act as the pinpoint for where Valentine will form all of his clones of himself. and thus it is likely Valentine cannot travel with the corpse between dimensions without harming his versatility of his ability, limiting the usage to one singular reality for the most accuracy. Additionally, the Corpse Parts can be used with Lucy Steel and her Ticket to Ride in order to create D4C's Love Train, a powerful ability that centralizes around her but can be wielded by Valentine as a means of ultimate defense.

Cream Starter

The Stand used by Hot Pants, Cream Starter is a spray-can which can apply a fleshy substance to others that it will merge with the skin of, as well as being able to manipulate and suck in flesh it has interacted with in order to refill itself. Valentine stole this off of an alternate-self Hot Pants.

Abilities

Senator Armstrong

Nanomachines

Housed within the Senator's body and bloodstream sit the Nanomachines, small nanites that can strengthen his body at will as well as acting as self-repair units. Not only do these allow Armstrong to withstand immense amounts of injury and pain, but strengthen him up through absorbing power, extreme heats, or physical force. Through nanomachines, he can strengthen his blows, block physical blows or injury, and ultimately empower himself in an aura from his sheer force. As shown in past Metal Gear titles, nanomachines can strengthen oneself to an insane degree, such as with Solid Snake or Big Boss who have wielded the same machines that have both made them more powerful than they normally would, as well as Vamp, an intense superhuman combatant which Armstrong was specifically designed to be stronger than in comparison. In addition to this, they have allowed regeneration to such a degree that he could reattach his limbs that were cut off by blitzing his nanomachines. Furthermore, Armstrong's nanomachines were directly portrayed as being stronger than Vamp's both due to sheer number and power who's nanomachines required negation in order to kill as otherwise he would be able to come back to such an extent that Solid Snake believed that he would need to destroy his whole body at once. Similarly, other users of nanomachines like Raiden have displayed that they will close up wounds and heal them passively, meaning that papercuts are practically nothing. As displayed with Solid Snake, who has also been injected by nanomachines, they can also replenish many parts of ones stream of sustenance to ensure that they don't run out of stamina amidst combat, which Armstrong has shown insane degrees of stamina. Nanomachines can also charge batteries, hack into electronics, and Armstrong's nanomachines are specifically designed to where they can also absorb energy as explained before.

Nanomachines are also capable of nulling mental scars done to Armstrong. Not only can nanomachines nullify pain either through doses of painkillers or literally changing how the wielder feels pain, they can also prevent one from feeling fear amidst combat which, as displayed directly, can prevent one from backing out from combat despite their emotions. Even if it were seen as a downside or an upside, they prevent Armstrong from falling away from combat and ultimately bringing it his all in combat. Alongside this, it has been shown in Metal Gear that politicians will get surgical implants to prevent mind control and hypnosis as a means to protect sensitive information, which Armstrong has a lot of.

Funny Valentine

Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap (D4C)

Unlocked by fusing his body with the Corpse's Heart at Devil's Palm, Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap (Alternatively, D4C or Filthy Acts at an Unreasonable Price) is his powerful short-range Stand, the manifestation of his energy taken a form only seen on a metaphysical level by other Stand users. With the ability to open into nearby dimensions with the Stand, he is able to move between dimensions and back into his own. Guided by the Corpse Parts, he can move between dimensions by pushing himself through an object into another universe and can travel through various means, even including people. When enclosed in an object, he can travel anywhere but he cannot instantly reappear somewhere else, requiring him to instantly disappear or camp elsewhere. Valentine can do this to other people, although he needs to do it himself, He is able to trap others half-way inside of this one-way travel system so that they are forced to work in elaborate fashion, and can similarly do this freely. By removing the travelled object's gateway when half-way through, the Sponger effect will activate which can affect Valentine.

D4C's ability is additionally able to be used as a way to protect Valentine, whether by bringing in a new version of himself that lacks wounds he would have taken if he uses his ability amidst combat, stacking physical selves upon himself to survive blows that could be seen as lethal, or being able to completely avoid death by transferring his memories before he dies into a new version of himself. However, the two caveats that come to this ability is that D4C cannot protect Valentine from instant death, and it cannot protect Valentine from an attack that permeates across his versions. Additionally, across all of the universes, there is only ONE D4C, meaning that versions he summons have to physically fight and only one Valentine is able to wield the abilities of the Stand.

Laws of This Universe

Due to how the world in JoJo's Bizarre Adventure works, the many-worlds theory has simply been proven to exist. Through this, it is well-known to Valentine of the endless amounts of universes, and thus, what would happen should interdimensional matter merge with each-other. This effect, generally known as the Sponge or Merging Effect, is not an inherent ability of Valentine's, rather one his stand distinctly follows to function. It enacts itself when two of the same being from different universes would merge with each other. Due to Valentine's inherent means of resisting this through his Stand ability, this makes Valentine intangible to himself in other universes which he can stack enough versions of himself to take damage freely however he can still take damage should he not replace himself.

Depending on the mass of an object, two of the same object from different universes can attract one another, with light enough objects like dollar bills immediately attracting to each other with the range shortening for objects with larger mass, with human beings needing to be in a very close distance, forced together if they make contact. If one were to be severed between universes, the wound will cause a similar effect with merger sponges, an event that can apply to Valentine if an alternate self takes damage in the main world the Corpse Parts reside in. As shown with Diego, the effects of merging will only end when one alternate version of a character dissipates from the sponge merge or if you can push yourself away. Finally, this ability can be activated remotely as seen with Diego, where when he were severed in another universe, both he and his alternate self had been affected by the merger cubes until one of them breaks apart.

Corpse Blessings

As mentioned before, the power of the Corpse Parts extends beyond just the fact that they are the Saint's body. Through sheer power, it can create blessings to people as well as merge it's body with those it interacts with, both healing wounds created by itself, unlocking their Stand ability (displayed in multiple instances), as well as reversing physical disease and mutations from abilities such as Diego's Scary Monsters. When they fuse altogether with one host, they both create immense power with the creation of storms and changing the land, as well as one final development; D4C's Love Train.

Love Train

Created by the joining of Lucy Steel and the rest of the Corpse Parts, the body of the Saint projects a flat gap in space which interferes with the world. Due to his Stand being unlocked by the Corpse Parts, he has a natural affinity to the gap, allowing him to take control of it. Due to it's ability, it can allow Valentine to flatten into the ground due to its 2-dimensional nature, allowing him to move freely across the direction he travels, carving his path in the ground. Not only does Love Train shift the world around it, drawing the world closer and closer to the Corpse Parts, but the entire world becomes centralized around the Corpse Parts even more than they had been before. This is to such a degree that objects will move inside of themselves to fix this, including open wounds, space itself, physical objects, living beings, etc. However, this movement can be relatively endured through sheer stamina or means of healing wounds before they can move. As the ultimate ability of Love Train, it's biggest gimmick is the transferal of misfortunate. This ability will redirect any means of misfortunate against the user, including Stand attacks, turning them into misfortunate across the world, whether that throws the force behind an attack into another situation, or it creates literal negative energy as a manifestation, which it can be done to such a small degree that the force could be miniscule and yet be redirected, of which Valentine used to protect himself against Gyro's Golden Rotation. However, Valentine explicitly cannot control what is directed or how it is redirected, and acknowledges that it is not his power, rather the Corpse and those who wield it, whether he sees it as his country or Lucy herself. Nonetheless, this weakness can be circumvented by Valentine's ability to move this gap in space as displayed in his fight against Johnny.

Support

Senator Armstrong

Winds of Destruction and Desperado LLC

• Minuano: A cyborg mercenary working with Desperado as a hired mercenary alternatively known as Jetstream Sam, named after the cool Bazillion winds. He is an honorable swordsman ultimately desiring war to strengthen his combat and feel the pride of battle. Treated as Raiden's ultimate contrast in the story, he is one of the first bosses met and the last member of the Winds of Destruction. He wields a HF-Blade known as the Murasama, a legendary blade forged down from his family upgraded with the HF specs of a modern katana.

• Sundowner: A cyborg warmonger working with Desperado wielding the control of Desperado LLC, and a member of the Winds of Destruction, implied as one of the first, with his name being based off of the weather conditions in Southern California. He is a blood-thirsty combatant that wishes for nothing but to experience war, bringing ultimate riches with the immense conflict brought by it. Similar to Raiden, he is another contrast to his backstory, fitting the role of Solidus Snake with his usage of child soldiers. He dual-wields unique scissor HF-blades known as Bloodlust which can merge into a pair of shears as a weapon. Sundowner also wields pressure-sensitive shields that explode upon contact, granting him a prioritized defense. 

• Mistral: A female cyborg mercenary that works with Desperado in the Winds of Destruction, named after the cool winds that flow through the Alps to the Mediterranean. She was a sadistic killer known for her brutality after taking hundreds of lives, however hated the dull feeling when fighting without a purpose. She was pulled into fight for Armstrong, as he gave her an ideal to fight for and pursue with his ideology. She wields a spear created by the arms of her Gekko units known as  L'Étranger, roughly translated to the Stranger. She is also capable of attaching several arms to herself of the same variety.

• Monsoon: A cyborg ninja that works with Desperado in the Winds of Destruction, named after the seasonal wind systems that happen in West Africa and Asia-Australia. His beliefs came down to how humans followed a methodological way of life, all of which came down to death, murder, and misery. Due to his self-taught background, he is the most unique in skillsets compared to the rest of the Winds of Destruction, with his background of criminal work leading to him being supported by Desperado. He dual-wields two sais known as Dystopia, and has the specialized ability to be able to split his body apart with electromagnetic manipulation.

• Khamsin: A former marine who works under Desperado named after the desert winds of the Middle East, who attempts to kill Blade-Wolf in his story mode DLC. He is one of Mistral's soldiers, wielding a large battle mech and a high-frequency chainsaw battle-axe, of which was too large for his mech to lift at times.

• Desperado military:
• Cyborg soldiers: Soldiers under Desperado's military control. Generally, they wielded High-Frequency blade, and had various means of deployment. Certain soldiers had also seen the usage of sledgehammers, shields, or roles in piloting helicopters.
  
• Customs: Standard Cyborg soldiers who wielded abnormally large High Frequency blades.
• Strykers: Unmanned military units intended to work as infantry in wars. They were highly powerful and armored tanks of humanoids, of which wielded custom Mk. 19 grenade launchers.
• Gekko units: Unmanned bipedal mechs that mirrored Metal Gears with recycled parts. However, they were used as infantry in wars as a result of their versatility and power.
• Dwarf Gekko units: Three-armed unmanned units that were used as means of infiltration and were often wielded in groups. Most commonly seen by the Patriots of the past or by Mistral in combat.
• Vodomerka units: Water-based units that glide across liquids, meant to guard areas with their firepower without getting into direct wartime confrontations.
• Raptor units: Bipedal units similar to the Gekko units and the LQ-84i, also known as Blade Wolf. They wielded similar weaponry to the aforementioned units, but held Dwarf Gekko programming which made them easier to control, albeit less complex than the rivalling infantry.

Funny Valentine

Valentine's Subordinates

• Oyecomova: A terrorist from the Kingdom of Naples who was responsible for killing people in his old kingdom through his addiction to explosives. However, he ran away into the United States, finding service in Funny Valentine who as a result would later run into the Devil's Palm. By doing so, Oyecomova found his stand and mastered it in less than three days, using it to combat against Gyro. He wields the Stand known as Boku no Rhythm wo Kiitekure.
• Pork Pie Hat Kid: A kid with an unknown background, wielding the Stand Wired. It allows him to create fishhooks remotely which he can create, as well as one down his throat.
• Dr. Ferdinand: A renowned geologist and paleontologist, with a great respect toiwards the land and what it stands for. Ultimately, his favorite thing about the Earth is the dinosaurs that ruled the Earth, which displays perfectly in his Stand, Scary Monsters. This Stand allows him to turn himself and others into Dinosaurs which is later taken by Diego Brando. 
• Ringo Roadagain: A tragic man who believes in the ultimate 'world of man', wielding both the Stand and ideology of Mandom. This ability allows him to rewind time six seconds in the past, which he can use in combat to predict attacks and deal with fights.
• Blackmore: A similarly tragic but nonetheless submissive assassin who believes in everything about Funny Valentine. As a result, he is Valentine's strongest subordinate in sole belief, and sees him as the most willing to get the Corpse Parts. He wields the Stand Catch the Rainbow, which allows him to turn into and manipulate all rain in the area.
  
• Eleven Men: Eleven men with the same Stand known as Tatoo You!, allowing each man to merge with one another and use their bodies as a means to teleport. They have a distinct lack of info but nonetheless wield a threatening aura and power.
• Mike O.: President Valentine's bodyguard, an intelligent strategist and no-nonsense agent of Funny. He wields the Stand Tubular Bells, a complicated Stand where he can blow rubber balloons made out of steel, typically in the shape of nails, but can be used for other means of versatility such as creating literal dogs to track targets and their smell or cut off limbs entirely by blowing balloons inside of their body.
• Wekapiko: A former royal guard who lost his sister as he joined Valentine's service later in life. For this purpose, he became loyal to the president, yet was nothing short but honorable to himself and the people he knew. He wields special Steel Balls known as Wrecking Balls, wielded by the Imperial guards that serve the Royal Family.
  
• Magent Magent: An unprofessional goofball who works alongside Wekapiko who wields the Stand which offers the Ultimate Defense, also known as 20th Century BOY. This ability makes him invulnerable to harm in any way if he sits in a specific position, with the implication that it could even make him immortal in the right circumstances. 
• Axl RO: A former veteran acting as an agent to President Valentine with a tragic past. He wields the stand Civil War, which can manifest guilt as physical attacks and ghostly representations of it. It can also make Axl RO permanent if the opponent felt guilt or remorse for killing them, albeit holding certain caveats to what is regarded as guilt.
• D-I-S-C-O: A man with a completely unknown background or personality. He wields the stand Chocolate Disco, where he can create his own personal domain as a grid system in front of him. In this system he holds complete control. That's all I'm going to say. I'm done.
• Sandman/Soundman: A Native American who works under Valentine who joins the Steel Ball Run race. He wins first place, before later down the line attacking Gyro and Johnny, revealed as working under Valentine. While having both the special ability to tell oncoming weather patterns and a specialized means of running that allows him to push himself to his physical limit, he is also a Stand user. Wielding the Stand In a Silent Way, Sandman can manipulate both sound and sand, although primarily the latter.
  
• Diego Brando: A tragic man with an immense talent of horses. After being infected with the Scary Monsters' ability, turning him into a dinosaur, he would later wield the Holy Corpse's left eye which had allowed him to take control of the stand after Dr. Ferdinand died. As mentioned before, he has the greatest talent for horses in both observation and riding, making him the strongest racer in the Steel Ball Run. Diego reluctantly teams up with Valentine before working with Hot Pants and fighting against him (and dying), however...
• Alternate World Diego Brando: Valentine drags an alternate version of Diego Brando to help him gain the Corpse Parts, of whom appears after Valentine's death. He attempts to get the Holy Corpse and absolutely dominates Johnny in their fight, even after unlocking Tusk's final act. However, he ultimately dies at the hands of Lucy Steel, who uses this universe's Diego Brando and his severed head to kill him with the exploitation of the Sponge effect.

Feats

Senator Armstrong

Overall

• Could have gone pro in football if he hadn't joined the Navy.
• Despite constant protests of him as a warmonger and various negative points of his actions being brought up, he excels as a politician.
• Fought Raiden and the Winds of Destruction.
• Was going to assassinate the president had Raiden not killed Sam and Sundowner.
• One of the few people willing to and nearly succeeded in fixing America's recession after the fall of the Patriots
• Able to snap Raiden's High-Frequency blade.

Strength

• Metal Gear EXCELSUS can shatter the ground around it by coming out (of the closet)
• When absorbing the energy of EXCESLUS, Armstrong was described as being vastly stronger than Raiden to where any blow landed could be fatal. Thus, Raiden was forced to outlast Armstrong's energy in order to match him.
• Armstrong was capable of blowing Metal Gear EXCELSUS to smithereens (182 kilotons)
• In his main boss fight, Armstrong smashes the ground hard enough for magma to erupt from the ground in the form of pillars (6-37 megatons)
• Can throw Sam across a rooftop into a helicopter.
• Can rip out chunks of EXCELSUS out of the ground (See above)
• At his highest, Armstrong can rip out five at once.
• Busts through the remains of Metal Gear EXCELSUS that falls on top of him without difficulty.
• With electromagnetism manipulation, Armstrong can control groups of helicopters and destroy them to gain power. 
• In his fight with Raiden, he uses his electromagnetism to tear apart the electronics and absorb the power of Metal Gear EXCELSUS.

Speed

• Can move in tandem with Minuano, dealing crushing blows before he can dodge (See above)
• Able to react faster than Minuano's swordsmanship, with his nanomachines effortlessly blocking each attack. Minuano was forced to use Quickdraw in order to bypass the nanomachines when they were moving, a technique faster than Raiden and his modes.
• Can blitz Raiden before he can react. 
• Despite this, Raiden has a speed advantage due to his mobility and agility, as well as Blade Mode.
• Leaps high into the air, being able to move faster than Bladewolf can throw the Murasama, albeit still missing the blade.
• While losing energy absorbed by his nanomachines, he's able to physically match Raiden blow-for-blow, requiring Raiden to use Blade Mode.
• At the beginning of the fight, his nanomachines are able to move fast enough that they are able to successfully block before Raiden could reach him.
• Raiden has various speed feats from his running speed. including him hopping from missile to missile and moving at speeds before raindrops are able to fall. (See Scaling section)

Durability

I mean, come on. What other gif were you expecting?

• Effortlessly tanks all of Raiden's blows in quick-succession who physically vibrates his High-Frequency Blade
• His High-Frequency Blade could cut through Metal Gear RAY and EXCELSUS with no difficulty.
• The High-Frequency Blade works on the quantum level, severing apart atoms and molecules at their base by shrinking down electrons, explicitly detailed as being a cutting force working upon that scale. Despite this, not only was Armstrong able to no-sell these, it was to such a degree that Armstrong was described as going against core studies of physics tied to the blade, including the same description of quantum manipulation, when he broke it without difficulty.
• Due to the nature of his nanomachines, Raiden was forced to use the Murasama in order to match them after they were slowly depleting energy.
• This is because the Murasama works as both a regular blade and High-Frequency blade, as it is detailed as mixing both of them with the mechanics of a HF-Blade despite being just as strong as the normal Murasama. 
• Because Armstrong's nanomachines were able to block the HF-Blade, it reduced Raiden's sword down to a regular blade which it struggled in. It is noted that a HF-Blade does not follow the normal bases of a traditional katana, with certain swords being useful specifically because they wield the high frequency attributes. Comparably, Sam's sword was such a great work of art because it was both an amazing sword and underwent the HF-Blade treatment, strengthening it far more than the norm, which made it inherently better against Armstrong.
• Despite facing a weapon that was inherently stronger against him, Armstrong was still able to survive continuous attacks from it.
• Effortlessly tanked the explosion of Metal Gear EXCELSUS when punching through it.
• Able to survive blows from Minuano and Raiden even without his nanomachines, and completely parries the blows in question with them.

Funny Valentine

Overall

• Organized the Steel Ball Run race in order to find the rest of the Corpse Parts.
• The greatest American patriot in his entire series... which is surprising.
• Received a 91% approval rating for his presidency, bringing many people into his group in order to achieve his plan of getting the Corpse parts.
• Fought Johnny Joestar, Gyro Zeppeli, Diego Brando, and Hot Pants each individually and simultaneously with his Stand ability.
• Can play the mandolin with his feet. Yeah.
• The only person to discover the truth of the Corpse Part, being a power source which only exists as one in the entire universe.

Strength

• Physically busts down a door without issue.
• Able to one-shot Diego's raptors
• Cleaves Johnny's hand off.
• Able to cut Gyro's chest open (See above)
• Punches Weak-piko into a wall.
• With the power of the Corpse Part, it was able to create a large storm across Kansas (1.19 kilotons)
• The power of the Corpse Part can control the oceans, pulling it closer, as well as the lands and nature itself.
• Because of the Saint's death, the Corpse Parts were the root cause for splitting America into nine pieces through earthquakes and storms. (Possibly 7 teratons)

Speed

• Slit Slow Dancer's throat as Johnny rid him towards Valentine.
• Slow Dancer can move in tandem with explosions.
• Can react to Johnny's nail bullet
• Able to effortlessly dodge Wekapiko's satellites from Wrecking Ball.
• Although immensely slower, Valentine was able to dodge a blow from Diego in his human form.
• Reacts to Gyro's steel ball accordingly.
• Gyro's steel ball can move in tandem with gunfire and Johnny's nail bullets.
• Was able to use his stand ability various times to dodge attacks from Johnny, Gyro, Hot Pants, Diego, etc. despite a physical speed gap.

Durability

• Survives being slammed into a wall neck-first by Diego.
• Survives his hand being blown apart by Gyro's steel ball near the climax of the Golden Rotation, and earlier in the fight completely shrugs off Gyro's regular steel ball.
• D4C and human Diego are able to trade blows.
• Can slap away Johnny's nail bullet without injury.

Scaling

Senator Armstrong

Raiden

• While missing an arm, Raiden could hold back Outer Haven in Metal Gear Solid 4: GOTP (156.78 tons of TNT)
• Raiden wields the power of electricity which he can use as a means of attacking, of which he can move in tandem with.
• Effortlessly overpowers two Gecko units and swings them around at high speed
• Can dodge Justice's railgun (Mach 230)
• Superior to Solid Snake who...
• Can dodge a railgun shot (Mach 31)
• Fought the Beauty and the Beast Unit
• The members of which can dodge the Solar Gun that shoots sunlight (Lightspeed). Raiden can also keep up with others superior to the unit like Vamp.
• At the beginning of his career he could dodge camera lasers (Relativistic)
• Is comparable to Big Boss who beat Volgin, who's body outputs this much energy.
• Later down in Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance, wrestles with and swings around a modified Metal Gear RAY with both hands.
• The Metal Gear REX models, who are inherently comparable to the RAY model, can survive the energy output of nuclear warfare as well as the energy required to launch their nukes.
• Additionally, Metal Gear RAY could also dodge a free electron laser from REX. (0.7c to 2.6c)
• Lifts up the Metal Gear EXCELSUS in a similar fashion.
• Later rips off one of its arm blades and uses it as a sword.
• Raiden is able to move much faster than an onslaught of missiles, hopping between each one (Mach 7885)
• Can move faster than the raindrops in Ripper mode (0.026c)
• Going backwards from this feat with the mode's multipliers puts Blade mode at 0.0052c and Raiden in base at 0.0026c.
• When cutting apart objects, Raiden launches them at an increased speed (3.829 megatons)
• Capable of cutting apart Monsoon's thrown APK moving at sub-relativistic speeds, and surviving it if he misses (66-106 megatons)
• Survived Armstrong nuking Metal Gear EXCELSUS (182 kilotons)

The Winds of Destruction

(Artist N/A)

Minuano

• Fought against a modified Metal Gear RAY.
• With Quick-Draw, he can shoot himself towards Armstrong at an increased speed.
• Can survive blows from Armstrong, while later dominating Raiden in his MGS4 body.
• His cyborg arm is strong enough to actually overpower Raiden.

Sundowner

• Fuckin' invincible!
• Survived a large explosion while at low health in his boss fight

Mistral

• Can no-sell explosions in her face.
• Cuts a large pipe in half, launching herself downwards.
• Punctures a barrel very well. Too well. I hope that doesn't kill her!

Monsoon

• Very strong electrokinesis!! (See above)
• Creates and controls a giant mess of objects, causing it to crash into the battlefield with Monsoon attempting to hit Raiden.
  
• Lifts a massive obelisk out of the ground and launches it at Raiden with no difficulty.

Bladewolf

• Can effortlessly tear through brick and steel
• Was able to survive a long fall after jumping off a building.
• In this same scene, he effortlessly blitzed Mistral, cutting off her arm and catching her completely off guard.
• Can survive an onslaught of rockets.
• Moves in tandem with base Raiden and likely matches Minuano in speed.

Khamsin

• Khamsin's axe can create a massive crack in the ground as one of his attacks.
• Gets absolutely molly-whopped by Bladewolf (See above)

Funny Valentine

Johnny Joestar

• Tusk 1 was capable of destroying a large boulder when it was first unlocked (918 kilojoules)
• Tusk 2 blows apart a portion of a river bank (0.03 tons of TNT)
• Through sheer force, Tusk 2 could make a torpedo in a lake which moved faster than sound.
• Shoots his fingernail faster than a gun (~Supersonic)
• Johnny's nails outpace sound (Mach 600, 0.005 tons of TNT)
• Johnny's nails outpacing sound in another instance (Mach 351)
• Johnny's shooting is in tandem with Sandman's sound in water (Mach 3)
• In this same scene, Johnny's bullets cross a cornfield in seconds.
• Shatters a brick wall in his way by shooting it

Gyro Zeppeli

• Can bust a door down with a kick (0.26 megajoules)
• Busted down a church door in one kick
• Shatters a rock with one of his Steel Balls
• One-shots Weak-piko and his Wrecking Ball
• By using his balls, he could strengthen Valkyrie enough to shatter a bridge in one blow
• Deflects a bullet and launches it back down (~Supersonic)

Diego Brando

• In his Dino-form, launches Gyro out of a building in one blow
• Completely shrugs off getting hit by Steel Balls
• Dodges Johnny's bullets various times, dodges Wekapiko's bullets, etc.
• However, it should be noted that Diego is fully capable of speedblitzing Funny Valentine, and verbatim states that he is faster.

Hot Pants

• Able to completely halt Gyro's steel balls in momentum with her Stand, which wasn't possible by characters before like Diego or Wekapiko.
• Cuts off Ringo's arm, who can survive being hit by steel balls without too much damage, although they were fatal to his previous scars.
• Able to catch Diego off guard with her spray, able to catch Ringo off guard with her spray, able to match Gyro's steel balls in velocity, etc.

Valentine's Subordinates

• Ringo can dodge gunfire and moves faster than most gunslingers, hence his status
• Ringo blitzes Gyro multiple times before he can throw a steel ball
• Can move in tandem with Hot Pants' Cream Starter.
• Blackmore likely activated his ability in tandem with Mountain Tim's gunfire, allowing him to go intangible before it reached him, although it could've also been off of the previous shots.
• Wekapiko survives an onslaught of attacks from various causes.
• Had also survived being uppercut by D4C.
• Also survived Gyro hitting him really hard with his balls.
• A lot.
• Sandman's stand brings down a barn (2453 kilojoules)
• Oyecomova blows up a building (0.317 tons of TNT)
  

Weaknesses

Senator Armstrong

Despite Armstrong's immense strength and physicality, he holds a handful of weaknesses that have caused him to lose against frailer characters such as Minuano. For one, Armstrong's nanomachines can be negated either through enough power and speed, as well as the fact that they require a necessary stat amplification by power absorption in order to use their best powers. Additionally, while Armstrong is very cunning and intelligent, he is nonetheless a berserker due to his nanomachines, causing him to become immensely angry at times which could lead to him making conscious faults in combat.

Funny Valentine

While Valentine is an immensely powerful Stand user and combatant, he has a handful of weaknesses that prevent him from being such a dominant force in the fight. For one, his ability is defined by the Corpse Parts in the main universe, acting as the beacon allowing him to distinguish the main universe from others due to the fact that all universes with Valentine's are the same besides minor universal differences. Additionally, Valentine's ability requires him to make conscious thought and move between two objects, preventing him from instantly phasing through something in his way. Finally, Valentine's solely limited to one Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap, meaning he can only summon other versions himself that can physically fight, causing him to struggle against Stand users that are superior to him, such as Diego Brando.

Before the Verdict...

Art by hades (me)

"Why was Valentine not given scaling to other parts of JOJO's Bizarre Adventure? Isn't Diego Brando from an Alternate Universe the same Stand user as DIO?"

White it is true that Stands from other parts in the series have appeared before after the universe reset, it has been explicitly treated that these are simply different characters, which is why characters like Mountain Tim or Johnny Joestar are theorized as being a parallel to other characters such as Speedwagon or Jonathan Joestar.  However, as we know in the universe, the only person who holds the exact same characteristics are Valentine's alternate selves alone, a process which explicitly requires D4C's ability. Beyond this, it is shown in-universe that alternate stands are not the same as their main universe selves, and in certain cases are either stronger or weaker. This is most accurately displayed in JoJolions' Killer Queen, who despite sharing the same physicalities and similar mindsets to our main Yoshikage, has its ability explicitly function differently. Not only is Sheer Heart Attack depicted as having larger means of power, has different means of causing explosions, and the ability to create multiple Sheer Heart Attacks as well as shrink them, but we know that due to the Stand being physically different and Kira having a different personality means that he would have a different soul, the same factors of which apply to Diego Brando's The World. Past in-universe differences, Araki has explicitly intended on it being a new work and expansion rather than following the lineage of JoJo's previous parts, with the recycling of Stand abilities and designs being something that happens all across both stories. For this reason, it is unlikely Araki intended on scaling a new universe to the previous one, especially when Araki wrote Steel Ball Run in a much more grounded scale until later down in the story.

Even if we were to assume that this version of the World, who lacks evidence of direct scaling to DIO, holds a different function of time stop with different times, has the same background, and simply would have a different soul, it is very unlikely Valentine would directly scale. Not only was Diego with the World dominating Tusk while bloodlust, he is very easily capable of reacting to Johnny and portrayed as stronger to where Johnny required help to defeat Diego alongside Lucy with Valentine's own Sponger effect. Similarly, Valentine was being absolutely demolished by Tusk, both being caught off gaurd by him several times and obviously being destroyed by the Infinite Rotation which he simply couldn't react to either instances from Tusk or Balbreaker, something that Diego was able to react to rather easily despite knowing he couldn't defend it. Simply put, Valentine is in a much slower speed department from Diego, as Valentine was even being blitzed by Diego Brando with Scary Monsters, and is very unlikely he would scale to a Stand inherently superior to the same Stand that effortlessly demolished him even without the Golden Rotation should you argue Diego is that fast. Similarly, by scaling Valentine to the World in speed, everyone in the part would scale to a Stand that is renowned as one of the fastest in the series by Araki himself, which Steel Ball Run has various contentions with that kind of scaling with how their fights function compared to Part 3 where the Crusaders each scale off of Polnareff's feat who's explicitly treated as being slower than Platinum in base when he performed the Hanged Man feat. 

"Are HF-Blades durability negation? How does Armstrong scale physically if they are?"

While high-frequency blades negating durability is surprisingly a very contentious argument, it is very inherent that Armstrong would scale in durability to the power of a HF-Blade. Not only are his nanomachines capable of blocking a HF-Blade's kinetic energy, which would require him to halt the full blade and prevent it from vibrating, meaning he would be cancelling out that energy and being durable enough to withstand it, but Raiden and every other HF-Blade user should follow Newton's third-law, which as displayed in the series means that the power behind a blade is directly proportionate to the wielder. Because of this, and the fact that Armstrong has displayed explicit feats of blocking blows from both a HF-Blade and their users physically, as well as scaling to characters that would physically match them like Mistral, means that he would have various reasons as to why he would scale to the feats performed by HF-Blades. Thus, no matter whether or not you argued they were able to negate durability, Armstrong would still scale to them.

"Does Armstrong really punch up magma though? What about Sam's fight?"

As this has been contentious with others in the past, Armstrong's magma punch was used in this blog as a supporting feat for scaling. While the main argument against the feat proposes that Armstrong is simply not punching up magma or has reasons as to why it wouldn't work, both of them simply do not work within the context.

With Sam's fight, while the pattern remains the same, Sam's fight explicitly shows us that they aren't pillars of magma like with Armstrong vs Raiden. In the latter, we see that the ground splits open with depth, and in the second phase large dense pillars pop out of the ground. Comparably, Sam's fight shows that the attacks Armstrong outputs are more accurate to flaming columns even in the same pattern. Evidently, the pillars seen in Raiden's boss fight are more dense and show splitting from the ground as well as causing craters as the pillars rise up. On the other hand, Armstrong's attack pattern in Sam's explicitly uses his energy projection more than anything, which means that these must be different materials Armstrong erupts from the ground. 

Even if it weren't treated as magma despite being the only true explanation for dense pillars erupting from the cracked ground in their fight, the feat would nonetheless be impressive and still supports other Metal Gear feats such as Monsoon's APK toss or Raiden launching debris across the screen.

Verdict

When it comes down to physical stats, Valentine was no slack at all. Not only was he able to survive fights with Diego Brando, a superhuman Stand user that could tear apart people with ease, weave around gunfire, and threw Gyro Zeppeli tens of meters away with a single blow, as well as Johnny Joestar, who's bullets are able to blow up rocks and portions of a river bank and move faster than sound. Not only this, but Valentine himself could physically gut horses with his bare hands, such as Johnny's steed Slow Dancer which could outrun explosions. However, Funny's strongest suit was his Stand, which could launch Wekapiko into a wall with ease and tear apart dinosaurs with his bare hands, as well as effortlessly blowing away both Johnny and Gyro's attacks with Spin, including one that was being strengthened by the Golden Rotation. However, Valentine's biggest trump card were the Corpse Parts. While they were not physically powerful, they have power that exceeds kilotons and potentially even teratons, which meant that it simply couldn't be normally overpowered and its reflection probably wouldn't be easy to circumvent when it could become that strong.

However, Armstrong simply had a much greater control over the field when it came down to strength. Not only was blowing up the Metal Gear EXCELSUS a very impressive feat, reaching 182 kilotons, he had various feats that could get much higher that he scaled to, such as Raiden launching debris (3.829 megatons), Monsoon throwing APKs (56-106 megatons), and creating pillars of magma (6-37 megatons). Simply put, Armstrong had gotten in the megatons range no matter what you argued, and at his worst he was reaching kilotons, values that dwarfed Valentine's stats. Even if you were to scale Valentine to Tusk 4's crater feat that nearly equated to 1 ton of TNT, Armstrong was still powerful enough to instantly put down Valentine and anything he threw at him.

Regardless, the statistic that mattered the most was speed, as it was the deciding factor as to whether or not Armstrong's nanomachines could even work in the fight, let alone Valentine being able to use his ability. However, despite Valentine scaling to Johnny blitzing sound multiple times and Slow Dancer outrunning explosions, Armstrong was much faster. Not only was Raiden's movement speed much faster when he played hopscotch between missiles (Mach 7885) and downscaling off of Ripper Mode moving in the span that raindrops were frozen that put Raiden's base thousands of times faster than Johnny's sound feat, but Raiden had various means of arguing him moving at or faster than the speed of light whether through direct feats or scaling. Ultimately, Armstrong was taking stats no matter what you used.

However, stats simply couldn't be the only factor. Both Valentine and Armstrong had the means of ultimate defense, as they had abilities explicitly putting them defensively beyond most of their series and required a specific means of negation. However, in comparison to how these abilities worked, it was much more likely Armstrong's means of defense came into consideration far more often than that of Valentine's. As seen in Valentine's fight with Diego Brando, it was explained that one of the only means of preventing Valentine from coming back from death would be instantly killing him, which is shown off when two of them get their neck snapped and simply cannot get replaced. However, in order for Valentine to replace himself when he takes damage, he also needs to slip between two objects, which was displayed in the same fight that every time Diego nearly killed him, he could displace himself with the environment and come back refreshed and back to normal. However, this came at the caveat that Valentine couldn't just pull himself out at any time, which makes the usage of this ability very difficult in situations where Valentine couldn't prep out his area. Despite this, Valentine was an amazing analyst, so it was likely he could see the environment and understand how to exploit his opponent. The issue with this, though, is that Valentine needs to see his opponents means of combat, which simply wasn't helpful against someone with such an immense strength gap and tens to hundreds or even millions of times faster.

Compared to Valentine's ability which had two gigantic caveats but otherwise insanely powerful usage, Armstrong seemed to be less versatile but simply strong enough to work well in every situation. If it weren't for an already pre-existing stat edge, the nanomachines allowed him to heal any damage, block lethal blows from sharp objects like D4C's hands, could likely resist the Sponger effect (due to being able to resist similar quantum manipulation as seen in the HF-Blade), and simply allowed him to counteract most of Valentine's means of winning. Plus, as the nanomachines both allowed him to project energy and such, it could allow a means of defense against Valentine should he try to drop him under a flag or against an object. Ultimately, while Valentine had means of environmental control that would normally dominate anyone in the Steel Ball Run, this was generally out of unfamiliarity and his immense speed. Even if Armstrong couldn't counteract Valentine's merging, which was unlikely with both his arguments of resistance and blitzing, it was unlikely Valentine could get it off on someone who both overpowered him in physical strength, preventing him from tossing him into two objects, or someone who could just pull himself out should be trapped half-way due to his inherent lifting strength and speed which as depicted with Diego and Hot Pants is one-hundred precent possible to perform.

However, despite the inherent statistics edge, neither of these characters were truly solo fighters. While they could definitely work in those fights, their lead was within the power of control and dominance, of which they were suited best. With Desperado and the Winds of Destruction, Armstrong held a strict numbers edge at the start, as the usage of both military and five excellent cyborg combaants could allow him to naturally overwhelm others. However, there were members of Valentine's subordinates that could bring difficulty against each member. With characters like Khamsin and Minsuano being the most human, Stand users like Mike O. and Ferdinand became deadly at just a touch. However, even despite their humanity, it was unlikely that all of Valentine's stand users were useful in that department. Pork Pie Kid or Wekapiko relied on statistic strength which they simply couldn't get, and the range of Stand users like D.I.S.C.O and even Ferdinand would cause tons of issues despite their potential power. Even with the strongest Stands, like Diego Brando from an Alternate Universe, members like Monsoon or Minsuano could keep getting back up from attacks as long as they had the means to replenish themselves. Ultimately, while Valentine had a strong versatility of Stand users, with certain groups that could completely change the game like Minsuano, there was still the issue with many Stand users such as Axl RO, Ringo Roadagain, or Sandman could harm their teammates more than supporting them amidst combat with their abilities, especially those like Civil War which would affect their teammates when the Winds of Destruction simply were immune to the potential immortality. This would leave two Stand users that could have the ability of potential immunity to everything with Magent Magent and Blackmore. However, while Blackmore specifically required a mental trigger of his ability and has been blitzed before he could turn into rain, such as with his death, Magent Magent likely couldn't make himself immune to everything even though he could possibly shrug off the physical blow of characters like Mistral or non-HF-Blade wielding soldiers.

Even despite all of this though, there was one last factor that came into who would win the election. Valentine's Love Train was a dangerous pocket dimension that could turn any attack thrown at it into misfortunate, both empowered by Lucy Steel and the Corpse Parts. However, not only was Lucy Steel a vulnerable target as she was sleeping during the usage of Love Train, it has been displayed in the past that sheer force to the placement of a Corpse Part will disconnect it from your body, and as seen with Lucy... Her whole body is simply formed out of the Saint's body. Even if Armstrong wasn't granted support by the Winds of Destruction who could easily identify the fact that Valentine is centralized in one area, it was unlikely that Armstrong couldn't deal with Lucy through sheer area of power with his massive range in physical blows, of which he's willing to ruin the area around him if he's pissed off enough.

Not only was this true, but Love Train wasn't really that good of a trump card. While it made Valentine immune to any damage, which Armstrong likely couldn't bypass without extensive arguments to be made between the comparison of gravity and the nanomachines' ability that broke the understandings of physics, it also made Valentine incapable of hitting Armstrong. Even if Valentine could use his Stand while in Love Train, it's been shown that his ability requires him to consciously move someone between two objects or pull them into one in order to activate it, meaning Valentine had no means to send Armstrong into another dimension while in Love Train. Even if one were to argue that it could send misfortune right back out when Armstrong attacked it, which it has not shown the capability of, let alone on a level that could harm Armstrong, it has been shown to only create these events through a conversion of force to probability. Thus, it was unlikely Love Train could even do anything to Armstrong with its transmutation as it has never shown the means of directly reflecting an attack back, only across the world. Realistically, Armstrong would probably want that to happen, anyways. More conflict, yippee!

Ultimately, while Love Train was completely impenetrable, it was unlikely it would have even worked when all it could do was send misfortunate around the world and made Valentine even weaker in a confrontation when he couldn't fight his opponent alongside all of the other faults he had in this fight. He did not have no means to combat against Armstrong, but he simply couldn't do much here.

Conclusion

Senator Armstrong

"Making the mother of all omelettes here, Jack. Can't fret over every egg!"

Advantages

• Takes the stat trinity without difficulty.
• Stronger AoE and aura prevents Valentine's short range.
• Potentially resists Valentine's Merger sponge effect.
• Significantly more skilled and threatening in close quarters.
• Has means to completely prevent Valentine from accessing or using his winning moves against him.
• Valentine has no means to kill Armstrong if he cannot completely merge Armstrong with another version of himself
• Valentine's Love Train lacks evidence to prove it can kill Armstrong.
• Simply cannot be overwhelmed by Valentine
  
• His nanomachines could probably react passively to D4C.
• Stronger support with the Winds of Destruction and military
• By taking out Lucy Steel or whoever wields the Corpse Parts, Valentine loses access to Love Train.
• Surprisingly more versatile in close quarters combat.
• Can tear the president in half.

Disadvantages

• Love Train cannot be bypassed by Armstrong without complicated arguments
• Nonetheless vulnerable to Valentine throwing him in another universe or trapping him even though he can prevent Valentine from doing it physically.
• Valentine's agility and ability to travel through Armstrong if he pins him down makes him a slippery opponent.
• Potentially doesn't resist Valentine's Merger sponge effect, although it is more likely he does.
• Support is much less versatile than Valentine's and has certain abilities that they likely can't bypass easily.
• Can lose energy overtime which will weaken and slow him.
• Despite being more experienced and skill, Valentine is a greater analyst and can quickly understand abilities.
• Isn't the president.

Funny Valentine

"Doj-yaaaaan!"

Advantages

• On-demand access to his pocket dimension and Armstrong's magma could potentially be used to dimension-hop.
• Love Train prevents Valentine from being touched by Armstrong.
• Could possibly outlast Armstrong's energy, but cannot outlast Armstrong due to nanomachines.
• Lack of electronics prevents Armstrong from on-demand healing and stat-amps.
• Supports have better overall abilities despite lacking in number and overall power.
• Better analysts in combat when need be.
• Filthy Acts an Unreasonable Price. Simply a better economy.
• Can dimension-hop through Armstrong if he gets pinned down...
• Has means to negate Armstrong's durability....

Disadvantages

• ... but he cannot survive a direct blow.
• ... If he could land any blows, which is impossible due to Armstrong's strength, speed, aura, and AoE attacks.
• Instantly killing Valentine before he can use his stand will completely shut him down
• The Corpse Parts can be knocked out of Valentine or whoever wields the power through sheer force, making them difficult to wield in combat.
• Can only attack Armstrong outside of Love Train by leaving it's gap.
• Much, much slower and weaker.
• Cannot overwhelm Armstrong with his Stand ability.
• The anime will come out in ten years.
• (So will the next Metal Gear game to be fair)

While Valentine was an extremely versatile combatant who had the right tools to become the most devastating president, he simply could not keep up with both the sheer durability of the nanomachines alongside the immense power brought upon by Armstrong's muscle. Combine that with Armstrong's means to both counteract all of Valentine's main abilities, means to prevent Valentine from landing blows let alone throwing him an alternate universe, and the potential to completely resist Valentine's only means of putting down Armstrong led the results to clearly lean in one favor... a 91% kind of lean. 

Armstrong took physical stats without issue in both speed and strength. With an incomprehensibly stronger strength edge and a gigantic speed gap that was more than enough to instantly kill Valentine, it would allow him to bypass Valentine's nigh immortality with Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap, and had surprisingly much more versatility through his energy projection, fire creation, powerful aura, and electromagnetic manipulation which allowed him to attack on all angles. Even if Valentine had an invisible barrier with his Stand that Armstrong couldn't hit, the Stand simply can't cover every single angle including both the ground and area around him, and Valentine would ultimately get overwhelmed.

In abilities, Armstrong immediately edged out despite Valentine's easy-to-pull-off durability negation. Not only did Valentine require speed to get off all of his win conditions as well as getting in close quarters range for Armstrong, a lot of his means were through things that were both situational or something Armstrong could destroy. Armstrong could one-shot Valentine quite easily, which meant that he had a means to prevent Valentine from coming back from the dead, and even if Valentine summoned other versions of himself, they couldn't do anything when there was only one D4C and the rest had to protect the base Valentine so that the Stand wouldn't take damage.

However, Valentine as a more analytic combatant held certain situational edges in this fight if he had the means to see how Armstrong fought and how well the environment would work for him, as well as how good his luck would be in a fight granted how he's seen taking on people like Diego. That didn't mean Armstrong was a slouch in skill, as he definitely held more skill and experience especially with how his athletic experience tied to his fighting style, but it inherently meant that he simply wouldn't be as observant when he got more angry and could have left him open if Valentine had the means of good survivability and perfect ability usage.

Ultimately, we could go on about how much Valentine struggled here but had perfect tools in a fight if he had the right ways to fight. However, even if Valentine had a stronger usage of his ability, it all came down to the characters speed which their abilities relied on, and Armstrong easily took that without difficulty. With a strength edge guaranteeing Valentine couldn't close in on him and drop a flag on him, a speed edge that prevented Valentine from coming back from the dead after every blow, and enough range to cover anywhere Valentine could return from when he dropped out, there was an obvious answer as to who was going be torn in half rather than cubed into pieces.

Valentine was an immensely intelligent fighter and nearly immortal, making him a tricky card against a fighter who couldn't cover the bases across dimensions. However, Armstrong had enough firepower that allowed him to close the gap between space and time, bringing power back to where it belonged. Back in the hands of the people!

 The winner is Senator Armstrong.